I need to spell it out so I can really try to practice being surrender. And keep adding to the list as I figure new things out that help me surrender.
• To relax in mind and body
• Be present, be fully here now
• Accept what is happening
• Trust it is for the best
• Let go of expectations or attachment to outcomes
• Feel your feelings. Allow them to surface in your body too.
• Respond in the present moment to whatever is coming up – give it attention, space, and appropriate nourishment
• Don’t worry or have anxiety or trip about the future – being present now will lead to where things and you need to move
• Dissolve ego – “I” didn’t do it well or badly. It was exactly as it was meant to be.
• Don’t be in regrets about the past. Trust that it was meant to be. And it’s over.
• Know that God is in the current moment, and that moment is a gift – the present – from where you can learn what you need to know right now.
• Pay attention to coincidences. They are not coincidences.
• Enjoy each moment. Every moment that you think you’re not in the right place or not having fun or joy, really pay attention to what this moment wants to teach you.
• Trust the timing of things. Diving timing is always perfect. There are no oversights or mistakes (or coincidences).
• Trust your body over your mind because your soul rings the bells of the temple loud and clear, before you can analyze why it feels a certain way. Cultivate prioritizing your body’s messages and needs.
• Be okay with moving slowly. Everything will happen as and when it needs to. Relax.
• Go with the flow.
Showing posts with label body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body. Show all posts
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Pain Blessings
Love hurts.
No pain, no gain.
I don’t believe in these kind of pain-normalizing idioms. BUT, I do believe that physical pain can serve as a blessing in disguise. It tells us what needs attention in our body, where, and usually an indication of how to fix it. It keeps us present.
The body hurts not because it has turned on you. How could it? It houses your soul. However, that is a responsibility the body-temple takes seriously. When we act, think, or feel in ways that are throwing us off balance, the body takes corrective action, instantly. We have a lot to learn from paying attention to our body’s needs and messages.
Take headaches, for example. For me, a headache is often the result of too much thinking, simply put. Being in my head, immersed in the past or tripping about the future, energy painfully concentrated in my brain. When I try dispersing that energy throughout my body, I notice my shallow breathing, stuck in the chest. I start to bring my attention back. I relax, and take deeper breaths. The pain eases.
Take deep breaths, for example. Breath nourishes life. When you breathe deeply you send oxygen into your gut. You are directly feeding your core, and the subconscious mind is then better able to communicate with you. The disguise part of the blessing is our spiritual challenge to understand and read the pain as a call for attention, an opportunity for growth, or simply to slow down and breathe.
Next time you experience pain, stop. Pay attention. Ask it why. Notice where. What do you intuitively do or reach for in order to ease the pain? When has this happened before? Notice your surroundings. Is this triggering something for you? Breathe. Your body is your friend, it loves you and wants you to treat it with love.
Love is all about care, attention , respect, mutuality, and trust. So listen to your body, respect its desires, and treat it with respect. Love doesn’t have to hurt :)
No pain, no gain.
I don’t believe in these kind of pain-normalizing idioms. BUT, I do believe that physical pain can serve as a blessing in disguise. It tells us what needs attention in our body, where, and usually an indication of how to fix it. It keeps us present.
The body hurts not because it has turned on you. How could it? It houses your soul. However, that is a responsibility the body-temple takes seriously. When we act, think, or feel in ways that are throwing us off balance, the body takes corrective action, instantly. We have a lot to learn from paying attention to our body’s needs and messages.
Take headaches, for example. For me, a headache is often the result of too much thinking, simply put. Being in my head, immersed in the past or tripping about the future, energy painfully concentrated in my brain. When I try dispersing that energy throughout my body, I notice my shallow breathing, stuck in the chest. I start to bring my attention back. I relax, and take deeper breaths. The pain eases.
Take deep breaths, for example. Breath nourishes life. When you breathe deeply you send oxygen into your gut. You are directly feeding your core, and the subconscious mind is then better able to communicate with you. The disguise part of the blessing is our spiritual challenge to understand and read the pain as a call for attention, an opportunity for growth, or simply to slow down and breathe.
Next time you experience pain, stop. Pay attention. Ask it why. Notice where. What do you intuitively do or reach for in order to ease the pain? When has this happened before? Notice your surroundings. Is this triggering something for you? Breathe. Your body is your friend, it loves you and wants you to treat it with love.
Love is all about care, attention , respect, mutuality, and trust. So listen to your body, respect its desires, and treat it with respect. Love doesn’t have to hurt :)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Presence
Presence
The present. A present. Being present. Presence.
Last week I heard Laura van Dernoot Lipsky talk in a workshop called “Secondary Trauma and How to Reconcile its Impact”. She draws from her book Trauma Stewardship, and I learned a lot! (Plus I WON a free copy of the book….with 20 other people who ‘won’ the same raffle, and 50 other people who got it for free, but I feel very special nevertheless – she said to notice your blessings, I noticed.) One of her many wise points that resonated deeply is about Bring Present.
“Bring to everything your Exquisite Quality of Presence!”
Me? I could have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? I have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? This was not a totally new concept to me, but there’s just something about the word “Exquisite”. It is a great word to describe what it is. And I love it when people say it well, with full attention and due respect. So anyways, Laura had me at Exquisite.
First of all, what does it mean to Be Present?
***Mind body spirit heart are all in the same place at the same time***
Here are the reasons I feel compelled to bring my EQoP –
WHOLENESS
That’s what mind body spirit integration feels like. My therapist describes this as everything internally and my body feeling “congruent”. When I am faced with a dilemma, I know exactly what I feel when I am coming from an integrated place. When I am experiencing joy, I am experiencing it at all levels which takes the joy to a whole new level. This builds resiliency too. When I am feeling pain, I experience that intensely too at all levels. That may not sound appealing, but if we have the capacity for it (or want to build it), then being present for it helps to fully experience and release it. By dissociating or being absent, we suppress the root cause or symptoms which is not helping to build our survival skills. Instead, it forms coping patterns which help us survive in the short run, and have long term side-effects. Pros and cons. You get to choose what to do when.
HEALING
"The more consciousness you bring into the body, the stronger the immune system becomes. It is as if every cell awakens and rejoices. The body loves your attention. It is also a potent form of self-healing." - Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now)
Eckhart really knows his stuff. He also talks about how being absent makes your body feel like an abandoned house – unwanted things creep in without our noticing and protection. This imagery was really powerful for me. I want my house to feel like a home. I want the place that I rest, the body that shelters me, to feel appreciated and nurtured in turn. I want to take better care of it, so that it can take better care of me.
GRATITUDE
"Be completely present for all things wonderful; If we are going to be present for life's suffering, we will need all the nourishment and rejuvenation that comes from life's beauty." Thich Nhat Hanh
Being present allows us to hold a more complete picture of ourselves, the various contexts we belong to, and the world at large. Yes, there is pain and suffering. But there is also beauty, love, and magic. Everything happens all the time, you get to choose what you want to notice and absorb more of.
EMBODY EXQUISITE
When I start to drift mentally, get lost in the past or caught up in the future (both places where I have no control), I sometimes catch myself and recall my Presence back into my body. When I do that, I notice myself throwing my shoulders back a little more, chin up, spine straightening, and an internal resiliency strengthening. Why? I’m not sure, something about the E word just demands that. And then I start to feel more Exquisite.
PRESENCE
It’s true, when I am present – mind body spirit all in one place – I feel a sense of peace and connection. A sense of calmness and depth, like a lake. Pema Chodron talks about giving ourselves that undiluted attention so that you can look at the bottom of the lake and see all the junk, instead of churning it up with thoughts/distraction. When you look at everything with clarity and compassion, you see Everything. Then you Know.
OPENNESS
Being present is about 100% experiencing, not recording impressions/interpretations of experience. When you can do that, you have much better chances of responding instead of reacting. Triggers are less triggery, buttons are not easy to push. You become somebody who offers spaciousness. That is likely closer to your best self, and allows the other person a great platform to do the same.
LETTING GO
Also integral to the idea of being present is letting go. The moment that has just passed, no matter how wonderful or how traumatic, has gone. Let it go. Also, then you can practice ‘aparigraha’ (from Yoga philosophy) or non-grasping. The next moment offers a new possibility.
The present is a gift. You have it Now. It’s up to you to be here to receive it.
The present. A present. Being present. Presence.
Last week I heard Laura van Dernoot Lipsky talk in a workshop called “Secondary Trauma and How to Reconcile its Impact”. She draws from her book Trauma Stewardship, and I learned a lot! (Plus I WON a free copy of the book….with 20 other people who ‘won’ the same raffle, and 50 other people who got it for free, but I feel very special nevertheless – she said to notice your blessings, I noticed.) One of her many wise points that resonated deeply is about Bring Present.
“Bring to everything your Exquisite Quality of Presence!”
Me? I could have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? I have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? This was not a totally new concept to me, but there’s just something about the word “Exquisite”. It is a great word to describe what it is. And I love it when people say it well, with full attention and due respect. So anyways, Laura had me at Exquisite.
First of all, what does it mean to Be Present?
***Mind body spirit heart are all in the same place at the same time***
Here are the reasons I feel compelled to bring my EQoP –
WHOLENESS
That’s what mind body spirit integration feels like. My therapist describes this as everything internally and my body feeling “congruent”. When I am faced with a dilemma, I know exactly what I feel when I am coming from an integrated place. When I am experiencing joy, I am experiencing it at all levels which takes the joy to a whole new level. This builds resiliency too. When I am feeling pain, I experience that intensely too at all levels. That may not sound appealing, but if we have the capacity for it (or want to build it), then being present for it helps to fully experience and release it. By dissociating or being absent, we suppress the root cause or symptoms which is not helping to build our survival skills. Instead, it forms coping patterns which help us survive in the short run, and have long term side-effects. Pros and cons. You get to choose what to do when.
HEALING
"The more consciousness you bring into the body, the stronger the immune system becomes. It is as if every cell awakens and rejoices. The body loves your attention. It is also a potent form of self-healing." - Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now)
Eckhart really knows his stuff. He also talks about how being absent makes your body feel like an abandoned house – unwanted things creep in without our noticing and protection. This imagery was really powerful for me. I want my house to feel like a home. I want the place that I rest, the body that shelters me, to feel appreciated and nurtured in turn. I want to take better care of it, so that it can take better care of me.
GRATITUDE
"Be completely present for all things wonderful; If we are going to be present for life's suffering, we will need all the nourishment and rejuvenation that comes from life's beauty." Thich Nhat Hanh
Being present allows us to hold a more complete picture of ourselves, the various contexts we belong to, and the world at large. Yes, there is pain and suffering. But there is also beauty, love, and magic. Everything happens all the time, you get to choose what you want to notice and absorb more of.
EMBODY EXQUISITE
When I start to drift mentally, get lost in the past or caught up in the future (both places where I have no control), I sometimes catch myself and recall my Presence back into my body. When I do that, I notice myself throwing my shoulders back a little more, chin up, spine straightening, and an internal resiliency strengthening. Why? I’m not sure, something about the E word just demands that. And then I start to feel more Exquisite.
PRESENCE
It’s true, when I am present – mind body spirit all in one place – I feel a sense of peace and connection. A sense of calmness and depth, like a lake. Pema Chodron talks about giving ourselves that undiluted attention so that you can look at the bottom of the lake and see all the junk, instead of churning it up with thoughts/distraction. When you look at everything with clarity and compassion, you see Everything. Then you Know.
OPENNESS
Being present is about 100% experiencing, not recording impressions/interpretations of experience. When you can do that, you have much better chances of responding instead of reacting. Triggers are less triggery, buttons are not easy to push. You become somebody who offers spaciousness. That is likely closer to your best self, and allows the other person a great platform to do the same.
LETTING GO
Also integral to the idea of being present is letting go. The moment that has just passed, no matter how wonderful or how traumatic, has gone. Let it go. Also, then you can practice ‘aparigraha’ (from Yoga philosophy) or non-grasping. The next moment offers a new possibility.
The present is a gift. You have it Now. It’s up to you to be here to receive it.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Part 2: Ex-pression
So supposedly, ex-pression is the opposite of de-pression. Let’s examine.
Technically speaking, I can see it right away. Depress means to press down, to put energy into containing. And that visual also makes me think of internal pressure building up. To express is to externalize, to release, to let free. So it makes sense that that would de-escalate the internal pressure.
What lies beneath?
Expression requires a solid foundation – trust, validating yourself, letting go, and solid ground on which we take the risks to be out about who we are. Expressing more often helps us firm up the architecture. And trains our expressive muscles to develop. They really do need practice, like everything else in life. We practice things all the time, often without intention, often without action. But to reach the deepest potential of expression, we have to express often.
Depth of expression matters. When you release what’s on top, it only lightens the burden so much. It’s a good warm up though. And then, when you release the next layer, your breath is coming from a slightly deeper place. And then deeper, and deeper, and now you’re pretty close to your soul.
Expressiveness matters. The more authentic the expression gets, the more powerful, the more transformative the release. Sometimes you need to get creative, sometimes you need to get loud. Sometimes you need both at the same time. If it needs a picture, draw it. If it needs your voice, sing… scream… laugh. If it needs your body , dance… move….. run. If it needs space for a breakdown, clear the floor. If it needs movies to make you cry, rent them. Whatever you need, give yourself enough respect to ask, and then give yourself enough space to act. Act sooner than later because your body is housing your soul, it is safeguarding it. But it is also a pressure cooker with limited capacity. The more that our expression leaks out unintentionally, the lesser we will be able to hold on to ourselves with intention. We want to express, not explode.
For me, it’s writing (and dance. But dancing is a whole other story – we’ll come back to that one another time.) I am the closest to myself when I’m writing. When I feel what I’m feeling, I can write, I have to write. When I write, I understand more about myself. My mind comes back inside my body, the lake of my heart clears, becomes still, and I can feel the presence of my spirit. Often when I write, I don’t know what I “think” or “feel” at the beginning. But putting pen to paper allows a deeper honesty to emerge that bypasses the mind. It is more pure, and less afraid. It is an essence that comes through, evading permission, evading filters, and breezing out in pure freedom. It shows me more of who I am, and gives me comfort because the soul knows so much better than the mind.
Expression is not a showcase of talents, or it doesn’t have to be unless performing is a part of your authentic expression. It is a commitment to keep yourself open as a channel, for things that move in to have a safe and timely way to move out, leaving no toxic residues. Then we can be loose, limber, relaxed in our bodies. This relaxed adaptability has resilience in its calmness, and brings us back to our present, our presence. Expressing helps us go beyond surviving, to being more alive.
Technically speaking, I can see it right away. Depress means to press down, to put energy into containing. And that visual also makes me think of internal pressure building up. To express is to externalize, to release, to let free. So it makes sense that that would de-escalate the internal pressure.
What lies beneath?
Expression requires a solid foundation – trust, validating yourself, letting go, and solid ground on which we take the risks to be out about who we are. Expressing more often helps us firm up the architecture. And trains our expressive muscles to develop. They really do need practice, like everything else in life. We practice things all the time, often without intention, often without action. But to reach the deepest potential of expression, we have to express often.
Depth of expression matters. When you release what’s on top, it only lightens the burden so much. It’s a good warm up though. And then, when you release the next layer, your breath is coming from a slightly deeper place. And then deeper, and deeper, and now you’re pretty close to your soul.
Expressiveness matters. The more authentic the expression gets, the more powerful, the more transformative the release. Sometimes you need to get creative, sometimes you need to get loud. Sometimes you need both at the same time. If it needs a picture, draw it. If it needs your voice, sing… scream… laugh. If it needs your body , dance… move….. run. If it needs space for a breakdown, clear the floor. If it needs movies to make you cry, rent them. Whatever you need, give yourself enough respect to ask, and then give yourself enough space to act. Act sooner than later because your body is housing your soul, it is safeguarding it. But it is also a pressure cooker with limited capacity. The more that our expression leaks out unintentionally, the lesser we will be able to hold on to ourselves with intention. We want to express, not explode.
For me, it’s writing (and dance. But dancing is a whole other story – we’ll come back to that one another time.) I am the closest to myself when I’m writing. When I feel what I’m feeling, I can write, I have to write. When I write, I understand more about myself. My mind comes back inside my body, the lake of my heart clears, becomes still, and I can feel the presence of my spirit. Often when I write, I don’t know what I “think” or “feel” at the beginning. But putting pen to paper allows a deeper honesty to emerge that bypasses the mind. It is more pure, and less afraid. It is an essence that comes through, evading permission, evading filters, and breezing out in pure freedom. It shows me more of who I am, and gives me comfort because the soul knows so much better than the mind.
Expression is not a showcase of talents, or it doesn’t have to be unless performing is a part of your authentic expression. It is a commitment to keep yourself open as a channel, for things that move in to have a safe and timely way to move out, leaving no toxic residues. Then we can be loose, limber, relaxed in our bodies. This relaxed adaptability has resilience in its calmness, and brings us back to our present, our presence. Expressing helps us go beyond surviving, to being more alive.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)