No attachment or aversion (as I learned from yoga). I didn't know what was on the list, so I wasn't waiting for a particular favorite song. Which meant, I wasn't waiting. I was just listening to what was playing, and appreciating it in the moment, because it was a surprise. Being present, another something I am TRYING to learn, and is constantly reinforced in yoga (yogis would never say rein'force', gentle loving encouragement is more like it). Also, when a song came on that I (thought I) disliked, I wasn't prepared so my 'dislike antenna' was down. So when it came on, I could actually listen to that too, and appreciate it. For a second, I had an impulse to skip ahead. But here was an opportunity to practice being open - I checked myself and let go of control. I decided to hear the song out. What did it have to say to me? And I heard whatever messages I was meant to, they surprised me, maybe resonated with my mood, maybe answered a question, and then I knew it was okay to let go and play music on shuffle. With this neutrality restored, lack of anticipation or dislike, there is no energy wasted in managing the situation to make it better. Not trying to make things better = contentment. I just enjoyed the whole listening to music while cooking experience so much more. That's life?
But of course, then there's the pleasure of creating a favorites list. It's magic. Pleasure of anticipation + a guaranteed positive outcome. Can't beat that. For example, a recent GC xmas staycation - good friends, good food, larry, dance movie - that is an ultimate highlights package. Who doesn't want that once in a while? Can't overdo it though, or it loses its charm. Plus it takes more/better to get the same high.
So what do you do if the playlist sucks? You're on a roadtrip for work, so it's a carpool situation where the driver is the DJ (duh!) and you are with coworkers you don't know very well, but they seem 'nice'. You don't like any of the songs, but each one sucks more than the previous one, you can't change the station, nobody brought CDs, and you are pissed off. You keep hoping the next song will be better but it just does not happen.
No control.
Frustration.
"Why me?"
Annoyed with others who seem to like the music, or are plugged into their own headphones/iTunes situation, what do you do? Okay, here are some options. You can -
* Switch off. Let your mind shut everything and everyone out. Relax into nothingness.
* Sleep. Maybe some MoonDrops could help?
* Change stations mentally. Think about what you would rather be listening to, or the fun things you'll do once you get out of this annoying carpool.
* Talk to one of the other passengers about something else, to distract yourself.
* Start complaining loudly about how the music sucks. Ultimately the driver feels bad enough that she changes the station.
* Call a friend not in the car. It's obnoxious for other people but you can take care of yourself. You prefer your known friend (attachment) to this group of carpool strangers who have bad taste in music (aversion). Also, you got to catch up with an old friend so you feel warm and fuzzy about reconnecting, but you lost an opportunity to connect with new people, to discover.
* Joke about how the music is not to your taste. You might find some other people in the car agreeing with you, and some disagreeing. Now there are those you identify with, and those you disidentify with ("other" from) - community of sorts.
Before you know it, or maybe you felt each and every second, or maybe you spent all the time evaluating/trying out the various options - the ride is over. You are now in a position to choose your own music. Happiness is within reach again.
Any other ideas for how you might navigate that bad-music-roadtrip?
You can also..
ReplyDeleteBe a smart ass and sing along obnoxiously. Throw in some ridiculous dance moves. Make everyone laugh and soon the trip will be over. I would totally do this if Abba is playing.