"Today, like every day, we are ruined and lonely." - Rumi
When I first read that I heard/read it as lovely, not lonely. Now that's all that makes sense. I woke up today feeling ruined and lovely. Feeling sadness, stiffness, confusion, and ache from last week, last night, or maybe the last 5 years. Been using too much, dwelling on too many exes, and trying to convince myself that my heart is, in fact, still intact. I'm not convinced.
Maybe broken isn't the right word, but definitely saturated beyond capacity or my imagination. But then, what do I know of the heart's capacity?
Grief can feel like stillness.
Hope feels mindless, and that's a relief.
Today, I am ruined and lovely.
Yesterday, when I was happy, I was ruined and lovely then too.
Maybe that's what I can hold on to. I was never intact to begin with.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Stillness
I don't know what stillness is. I don't have it, not in this moment anyways. From what little I understand, it's in there somewhere, deep below the surface.
Does it mean to slow down until your insides feel still?
Does it mean that your mind stills and there is quiet inside?
Does it mean to be unperturbed no matter what happens?
I'm not still yet. The mind chatters constantly, I'm always worried about being late to something or not doing enough or maybe not being enough, so I move too quickly and try to do too much and end up with bruises I don't remember receiving. Pain too, is a way to make you slow down.
Maybe I should focus on remembering that I am enough. That there is enough hope in the world. That there is enough money too, and resources for all of us. We are just wasting it on war and nuclear weapons and large screen TVs. There is enough peace too, and enough of us who are actively trying to de-escalate ourselves on a daily basis, in every moment, so that WE are not causes of harm, but initiators of love.
Today I went to work then acupuncture then sound healing + meditation. Then I came home and washed a lot of dishes while listening to Jagjit Singh radio station. Each of those activities was equally meditative when I was completely focused, as present as I could be. We set intentions/affirmations after meditation, and here are some of the ones that I remember/want to hold on to. Grateful for and crediting all those who were there (without revealing names)and collectively this emerged -
* I am okay with myself, no matter what.
* My dreams are given to me by God, and God will accomplish them.
* I am connection.
* I am serenity.
* I am deeply loved.
* I am surrender.
And maybe, if I can stop seeking so hard and stop trying to file, sort, organize and label the chaos, I'll be still too.
Does it mean to slow down until your insides feel still?
Does it mean that your mind stills and there is quiet inside?
Does it mean to be unperturbed no matter what happens?
I'm not still yet. The mind chatters constantly, I'm always worried about being late to something or not doing enough or maybe not being enough, so I move too quickly and try to do too much and end up with bruises I don't remember receiving. Pain too, is a way to make you slow down.
Maybe I should focus on remembering that I am enough. That there is enough hope in the world. That there is enough money too, and resources for all of us. We are just wasting it on war and nuclear weapons and large screen TVs. There is enough peace too, and enough of us who are actively trying to de-escalate ourselves on a daily basis, in every moment, so that WE are not causes of harm, but initiators of love.
Today I went to work then acupuncture then sound healing + meditation. Then I came home and washed a lot of dishes while listening to Jagjit Singh radio station. Each of those activities was equally meditative when I was completely focused, as present as I could be. We set intentions/affirmations after meditation, and here are some of the ones that I remember/want to hold on to. Grateful for and crediting all those who were there (without revealing names)and collectively this emerged -
* I am okay with myself, no matter what.
* My dreams are given to me by God, and God will accomplish them.
* I am connection.
* I am serenity.
* I am deeply loved.
* I am surrender.
And maybe, if I can stop seeking so hard and stop trying to file, sort, organize and label the chaos, I'll be still too.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Surrender
I need to spell it out so I can really try to practice being surrender. And keep adding to the list as I figure new things out that help me surrender.
• To relax in mind and body
• Be present, be fully here now
• Accept what is happening
• Trust it is for the best
• Let go of expectations or attachment to outcomes
• Feel your feelings. Allow them to surface in your body too.
• Respond in the present moment to whatever is coming up – give it attention, space, and appropriate nourishment
• Don’t worry or have anxiety or trip about the future – being present now will lead to where things and you need to move
• Dissolve ego – “I” didn’t do it well or badly. It was exactly as it was meant to be.
• Don’t be in regrets about the past. Trust that it was meant to be. And it’s over.
• Know that God is in the current moment, and that moment is a gift – the present – from where you can learn what you need to know right now.
• Pay attention to coincidences. They are not coincidences.
• Enjoy each moment. Every moment that you think you’re not in the right place or not having fun or joy, really pay attention to what this moment wants to teach you.
• Trust the timing of things. Diving timing is always perfect. There are no oversights or mistakes (or coincidences).
• Trust your body over your mind because your soul rings the bells of the temple loud and clear, before you can analyze why it feels a certain way. Cultivate prioritizing your body’s messages and needs.
• Be okay with moving slowly. Everything will happen as and when it needs to. Relax.
• Go with the flow.
• To relax in mind and body
• Be present, be fully here now
• Accept what is happening
• Trust it is for the best
• Let go of expectations or attachment to outcomes
• Feel your feelings. Allow them to surface in your body too.
• Respond in the present moment to whatever is coming up – give it attention, space, and appropriate nourishment
• Don’t worry or have anxiety or trip about the future – being present now will lead to where things and you need to move
• Dissolve ego – “I” didn’t do it well or badly. It was exactly as it was meant to be.
• Don’t be in regrets about the past. Trust that it was meant to be. And it’s over.
• Know that God is in the current moment, and that moment is a gift – the present – from where you can learn what you need to know right now.
• Pay attention to coincidences. They are not coincidences.
• Enjoy each moment. Every moment that you think you’re not in the right place or not having fun or joy, really pay attention to what this moment wants to teach you.
• Trust the timing of things. Diving timing is always perfect. There are no oversights or mistakes (or coincidences).
• Trust your body over your mind because your soul rings the bells of the temple loud and clear, before you can analyze why it feels a certain way. Cultivate prioritizing your body’s messages and needs.
• Be okay with moving slowly. Everything will happen as and when it needs to. Relax.
• Go with the flow.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
About that writing thing....
Sometimes I sit up in bed propped by my three pillows, pen poised over paper, and nothing. Nothing happens. I forget words, I forget how to write, I forget what I know. Then I get shaky for a second, that it’s not true, I’m not a writer, I never was. All the words I ever wrote before this were a fluke, an aberration, or a gift that has now been taken away.
Then two things occur to me. One, I’m probably poised over the wrong notebook, it should be my journal instead. I need to download all the crap in my head. Heady crap is crap for sure. The second thing is, it is a gift. Everything is. No thought or word is original, or coming from me. That’s when I feel a sense of relief, and surrender. When there’s something to say I’ll be told what it is and then I’ll know to serve as a messenger. Messages are the fun unknowns. Where is the next one coming from? What will it be about? In the past, they’ve come from all over – a person, vanity license plates, ads on a billboard, crystal clarity from within, email signatures, or none of the above, straight to paper through ink through hand holding pen, bypassing all thought or consciousness. When this happens, I learn as much as I share. That’s how I know anyone can write. It’s the “becoming/being a writer” part that holds us up. Once, I found myself having this conversation on paper, with my self.
Write.
Write.
Write.
Write what??
I don’t know! Just start writing so we can find out.
For me, writing is a mirror that allows me to hold a greater degree of truth within myself. When I go days without journaling, I think I don’t need it anymore. When it becomes weeks, I’m sure of it. When it becomes months, the doors to a deeper consciousness start to close and I can’t quite make out their edges in the haze within. Ego shuts that door and I become disparate from words, which is the first lie. The voice of truth/Truth requires constant nourishment in order to keep talking. Not writing is not listening.
Writing is a language and a medium. It connects us to ourselves, other human beings, and the place of shared consciousness held by the SuperSoul. In yoga I’ve often heard “Don’t try to control your breathing. Let the breath breathe you.“ I offer the same for writing: Don’t try so hard to write perhaps, let the words write you.
Then two things occur to me. One, I’m probably poised over the wrong notebook, it should be my journal instead. I need to download all the crap in my head. Heady crap is crap for sure. The second thing is, it is a gift. Everything is. No thought or word is original, or coming from me. That’s when I feel a sense of relief, and surrender. When there’s something to say I’ll be told what it is and then I’ll know to serve as a messenger. Messages are the fun unknowns. Where is the next one coming from? What will it be about? In the past, they’ve come from all over – a person, vanity license plates, ads on a billboard, crystal clarity from within, email signatures, or none of the above, straight to paper through ink through hand holding pen, bypassing all thought or consciousness. When this happens, I learn as much as I share. That’s how I know anyone can write. It’s the “becoming/being a writer” part that holds us up. Once, I found myself having this conversation on paper, with my self.
Write.
Write.
Write.
Write what??
I don’t know! Just start writing so we can find out.
For me, writing is a mirror that allows me to hold a greater degree of truth within myself. When I go days without journaling, I think I don’t need it anymore. When it becomes weeks, I’m sure of it. When it becomes months, the doors to a deeper consciousness start to close and I can’t quite make out their edges in the haze within. Ego shuts that door and I become disparate from words, which is the first lie. The voice of truth/Truth requires constant nourishment in order to keep talking. Not writing is not listening.
Writing is a language and a medium. It connects us to ourselves, other human beings, and the place of shared consciousness held by the SuperSoul. In yoga I’ve often heard “Don’t try to control your breathing. Let the breath breathe you.“ I offer the same for writing: Don’t try so hard to write perhaps, let the words write you.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Guilty Places
Do you know where the guilty places live? I often find myself going there. A secret compartment, that feeds my sense of badness. I am unworthy. I fucked up. Maybe others know about my badness, but nobody knows about the torture room I reserve for Revisiting Badness Hours.
That place grew out of genuine regret. I actually did something that likely caused a little or a lot of harm. From that place of self-awareness, grew a regret, and then a “What if…”. And so that room was created labeled with a big sign of the Very Bad Thing I did. And now I can visit whenever I want.
I tend to drop by there when I’m feeling low. Why is that? Am I not low enough already? Red flag. When you’re feeling bad and you do something that you *know* is going to make you feel worse, you can choose. Choose to focus on the current bad, the past bad, or a compounded effect that feeds a narrative of my badness. This cocktail will really require much more than aspirin to recover. Or you can choose to pay attention to what’s happening in the present moment – “ I’m feeling regretful and now I want to give up and melt into a puddle of shame. “ Notice that feeling, and don’t give up on yourself. Noticing is an immediate act of kindness that can help keep you in the present, and prevent further self-harm.
The other thing is, this idea of “I fucked up” can be healthy to a certain extent of self-reflection, but can also border on or cross over into the land of Perfectionism. It’s true, none of us are perfect. And there’s no point trying to be “perfect” because that’s a subjective and mythical concept, definitely not a SMART goal. Try instead to have Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely goals that make a difference in your life or self that you can actualize.
Here’s the thing about the Guilty Places - I keep them alive by seeking them out. So what if I stopped visiting? I’m not suggesting locking up the door and throwing away the key. Then you just have a room full of junk lying around. It’s a waste of perfectly good real estate. I’m suggesting purging. It takes the will to get down with the dirty, dusty mess. Getting your hands greasy, your knees scraped, and looking at all your shit. And facing that nasty feeling – “How did I end up with all this crap?” But don’t, don’t go there, now you’re just creating another Guilty Place. Instead, look at what you’re looking at. And clean your mess up. It means sorting, filing, throwing, recycling, and learning how to do this better next time. It takes time, and energy – but not the draining kind of energy that it takes to keep from opening the door. The good kind of energy that comes from being productive. If you work through it, you will actually get through it. And it takes support and vulnerability. You might be afraid to let someone look inside that closet with you, but you’ll be relieved when you’re not alone in there with that musty smell. It’s also not their shit, so hopefully it doesn’t daunt them too much. Those who truly love you will not leave you there alone, once they know about that place.
And when that room is free, dusted, swept and mopped, you’ll breathe in cleaner air that will actually nourish you. You will have more room for to breathe because that place is inside you. It’s inside me too. I’m working on purging, one slow room at a time.
If you want to be a better person and not hurt someone else (again), then your chances of doing that are much higher if you stay in the present and give yourself opportunities to try new ways. And to pay attention when you start to cause harm. If you remain in the past and stuck in the Guilty Places, you are feeding a narrative of “I can’t be better than this. This is who I am” which is not helpful to any of us. Staying there makes you less able to notice now. So go on and do your work. Clean house. Let go. Forgive yourself and breathe more deeply. Do it for all of us because we need you to be present for what happens next – the possibility of joy lives on. Possibility always, and only, lives in the present.
That place grew out of genuine regret. I actually did something that likely caused a little or a lot of harm. From that place of self-awareness, grew a regret, and then a “What if…”. And so that room was created labeled with a big sign of the Very Bad Thing I did. And now I can visit whenever I want.
I tend to drop by there when I’m feeling low. Why is that? Am I not low enough already? Red flag. When you’re feeling bad and you do something that you *know* is going to make you feel worse, you can choose. Choose to focus on the current bad, the past bad, or a compounded effect that feeds a narrative of my badness. This cocktail will really require much more than aspirin to recover. Or you can choose to pay attention to what’s happening in the present moment – “ I’m feeling regretful and now I want to give up and melt into a puddle of shame. “ Notice that feeling, and don’t give up on yourself. Noticing is an immediate act of kindness that can help keep you in the present, and prevent further self-harm.
The other thing is, this idea of “I fucked up” can be healthy to a certain extent of self-reflection, but can also border on or cross over into the land of Perfectionism. It’s true, none of us are perfect. And there’s no point trying to be “perfect” because that’s a subjective and mythical concept, definitely not a SMART goal. Try instead to have Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely goals that make a difference in your life or self that you can actualize.
Here’s the thing about the Guilty Places - I keep them alive by seeking them out. So what if I stopped visiting? I’m not suggesting locking up the door and throwing away the key. Then you just have a room full of junk lying around. It’s a waste of perfectly good real estate. I’m suggesting purging. It takes the will to get down with the dirty, dusty mess. Getting your hands greasy, your knees scraped, and looking at all your shit. And facing that nasty feeling – “How did I end up with all this crap?” But don’t, don’t go there, now you’re just creating another Guilty Place. Instead, look at what you’re looking at. And clean your mess up. It means sorting, filing, throwing, recycling, and learning how to do this better next time. It takes time, and energy – but not the draining kind of energy that it takes to keep from opening the door. The good kind of energy that comes from being productive. If you work through it, you will actually get through it. And it takes support and vulnerability. You might be afraid to let someone look inside that closet with you, but you’ll be relieved when you’re not alone in there with that musty smell. It’s also not their shit, so hopefully it doesn’t daunt them too much. Those who truly love you will not leave you there alone, once they know about that place.
And when that room is free, dusted, swept and mopped, you’ll breathe in cleaner air that will actually nourish you. You will have more room for to breathe because that place is inside you. It’s inside me too. I’m working on purging, one slow room at a time.
If you want to be a better person and not hurt someone else (again), then your chances of doing that are much higher if you stay in the present and give yourself opportunities to try new ways. And to pay attention when you start to cause harm. If you remain in the past and stuck in the Guilty Places, you are feeding a narrative of “I can’t be better than this. This is who I am” which is not helpful to any of us. Staying there makes you less able to notice now. So go on and do your work. Clean house. Let go. Forgive yourself and breathe more deeply. Do it for all of us because we need you to be present for what happens next – the possibility of joy lives on. Possibility always, and only, lives in the present.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Pain Blessings
Love hurts.
No pain, no gain.
I don’t believe in these kind of pain-normalizing idioms. BUT, I do believe that physical pain can serve as a blessing in disguise. It tells us what needs attention in our body, where, and usually an indication of how to fix it. It keeps us present.
The body hurts not because it has turned on you. How could it? It houses your soul. However, that is a responsibility the body-temple takes seriously. When we act, think, or feel in ways that are throwing us off balance, the body takes corrective action, instantly. We have a lot to learn from paying attention to our body’s needs and messages.
Take headaches, for example. For me, a headache is often the result of too much thinking, simply put. Being in my head, immersed in the past or tripping about the future, energy painfully concentrated in my brain. When I try dispersing that energy throughout my body, I notice my shallow breathing, stuck in the chest. I start to bring my attention back. I relax, and take deeper breaths. The pain eases.
Take deep breaths, for example. Breath nourishes life. When you breathe deeply you send oxygen into your gut. You are directly feeding your core, and the subconscious mind is then better able to communicate with you. The disguise part of the blessing is our spiritual challenge to understand and read the pain as a call for attention, an opportunity for growth, or simply to slow down and breathe.
Next time you experience pain, stop. Pay attention. Ask it why. Notice where. What do you intuitively do or reach for in order to ease the pain? When has this happened before? Notice your surroundings. Is this triggering something for you? Breathe. Your body is your friend, it loves you and wants you to treat it with love.
Love is all about care, attention , respect, mutuality, and trust. So listen to your body, respect its desires, and treat it with respect. Love doesn’t have to hurt :)
No pain, no gain.
I don’t believe in these kind of pain-normalizing idioms. BUT, I do believe that physical pain can serve as a blessing in disguise. It tells us what needs attention in our body, where, and usually an indication of how to fix it. It keeps us present.
The body hurts not because it has turned on you. How could it? It houses your soul. However, that is a responsibility the body-temple takes seriously. When we act, think, or feel in ways that are throwing us off balance, the body takes corrective action, instantly. We have a lot to learn from paying attention to our body’s needs and messages.
Take headaches, for example. For me, a headache is often the result of too much thinking, simply put. Being in my head, immersed in the past or tripping about the future, energy painfully concentrated in my brain. When I try dispersing that energy throughout my body, I notice my shallow breathing, stuck in the chest. I start to bring my attention back. I relax, and take deeper breaths. The pain eases.
Take deep breaths, for example. Breath nourishes life. When you breathe deeply you send oxygen into your gut. You are directly feeding your core, and the subconscious mind is then better able to communicate with you. The disguise part of the blessing is our spiritual challenge to understand and read the pain as a call for attention, an opportunity for growth, or simply to slow down and breathe.
Next time you experience pain, stop. Pay attention. Ask it why. Notice where. What do you intuitively do or reach for in order to ease the pain? When has this happened before? Notice your surroundings. Is this triggering something for you? Breathe. Your body is your friend, it loves you and wants you to treat it with love.
Love is all about care, attention , respect, mutuality, and trust. So listen to your body, respect its desires, and treat it with respect. Love doesn’t have to hurt :)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Presence
Presence
The present. A present. Being present. Presence.
Last week I heard Laura van Dernoot Lipsky talk in a workshop called “Secondary Trauma and How to Reconcile its Impact”. She draws from her book Trauma Stewardship, and I learned a lot! (Plus I WON a free copy of the book….with 20 other people who ‘won’ the same raffle, and 50 other people who got it for free, but I feel very special nevertheless – she said to notice your blessings, I noticed.) One of her many wise points that resonated deeply is about Bring Present.
“Bring to everything your Exquisite Quality of Presence!”
Me? I could have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? I have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? This was not a totally new concept to me, but there’s just something about the word “Exquisite”. It is a great word to describe what it is. And I love it when people say it well, with full attention and due respect. So anyways, Laura had me at Exquisite.
First of all, what does it mean to Be Present?
***Mind body spirit heart are all in the same place at the same time***
Here are the reasons I feel compelled to bring my EQoP –
WHOLENESS
That’s what mind body spirit integration feels like. My therapist describes this as everything internally and my body feeling “congruent”. When I am faced with a dilemma, I know exactly what I feel when I am coming from an integrated place. When I am experiencing joy, I am experiencing it at all levels which takes the joy to a whole new level. This builds resiliency too. When I am feeling pain, I experience that intensely too at all levels. That may not sound appealing, but if we have the capacity for it (or want to build it), then being present for it helps to fully experience and release it. By dissociating or being absent, we suppress the root cause or symptoms which is not helping to build our survival skills. Instead, it forms coping patterns which help us survive in the short run, and have long term side-effects. Pros and cons. You get to choose what to do when.
HEALING
"The more consciousness you bring into the body, the stronger the immune system becomes. It is as if every cell awakens and rejoices. The body loves your attention. It is also a potent form of self-healing." - Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now)
Eckhart really knows his stuff. He also talks about how being absent makes your body feel like an abandoned house – unwanted things creep in without our noticing and protection. This imagery was really powerful for me. I want my house to feel like a home. I want the place that I rest, the body that shelters me, to feel appreciated and nurtured in turn. I want to take better care of it, so that it can take better care of me.
GRATITUDE
"Be completely present for all things wonderful; If we are going to be present for life's suffering, we will need all the nourishment and rejuvenation that comes from life's beauty." Thich Nhat Hanh
Being present allows us to hold a more complete picture of ourselves, the various contexts we belong to, and the world at large. Yes, there is pain and suffering. But there is also beauty, love, and magic. Everything happens all the time, you get to choose what you want to notice and absorb more of.
EMBODY EXQUISITE
When I start to drift mentally, get lost in the past or caught up in the future (both places where I have no control), I sometimes catch myself and recall my Presence back into my body. When I do that, I notice myself throwing my shoulders back a little more, chin up, spine straightening, and an internal resiliency strengthening. Why? I’m not sure, something about the E word just demands that. And then I start to feel more Exquisite.
PRESENCE
It’s true, when I am present – mind body spirit all in one place – I feel a sense of peace and connection. A sense of calmness and depth, like a lake. Pema Chodron talks about giving ourselves that undiluted attention so that you can look at the bottom of the lake and see all the junk, instead of churning it up with thoughts/distraction. When you look at everything with clarity and compassion, you see Everything. Then you Know.
OPENNESS
Being present is about 100% experiencing, not recording impressions/interpretations of experience. When you can do that, you have much better chances of responding instead of reacting. Triggers are less triggery, buttons are not easy to push. You become somebody who offers spaciousness. That is likely closer to your best self, and allows the other person a great platform to do the same.
LETTING GO
Also integral to the idea of being present is letting go. The moment that has just passed, no matter how wonderful or how traumatic, has gone. Let it go. Also, then you can practice ‘aparigraha’ (from Yoga philosophy) or non-grasping. The next moment offers a new possibility.
The present is a gift. You have it Now. It’s up to you to be here to receive it.
The present. A present. Being present. Presence.
Last week I heard Laura van Dernoot Lipsky talk in a workshop called “Secondary Trauma and How to Reconcile its Impact”. She draws from her book Trauma Stewardship, and I learned a lot! (Plus I WON a free copy of the book….with 20 other people who ‘won’ the same raffle, and 50 other people who got it for free, but I feel very special nevertheless – she said to notice your blessings, I noticed.) One of her many wise points that resonated deeply is about Bring Present.
“Bring to everything your Exquisite Quality of Presence!”
Me? I could have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? I have an Exquisite Quality of Presence? This was not a totally new concept to me, but there’s just something about the word “Exquisite”. It is a great word to describe what it is. And I love it when people say it well, with full attention and due respect. So anyways, Laura had me at Exquisite.
First of all, what does it mean to Be Present?
***Mind body spirit heart are all in the same place at the same time***
Here are the reasons I feel compelled to bring my EQoP –
WHOLENESS
That’s what mind body spirit integration feels like. My therapist describes this as everything internally and my body feeling “congruent”. When I am faced with a dilemma, I know exactly what I feel when I am coming from an integrated place. When I am experiencing joy, I am experiencing it at all levels which takes the joy to a whole new level. This builds resiliency too. When I am feeling pain, I experience that intensely too at all levels. That may not sound appealing, but if we have the capacity for it (or want to build it), then being present for it helps to fully experience and release it. By dissociating or being absent, we suppress the root cause or symptoms which is not helping to build our survival skills. Instead, it forms coping patterns which help us survive in the short run, and have long term side-effects. Pros and cons. You get to choose what to do when.
HEALING
"The more consciousness you bring into the body, the stronger the immune system becomes. It is as if every cell awakens and rejoices. The body loves your attention. It is also a potent form of self-healing." - Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now)
Eckhart really knows his stuff. He also talks about how being absent makes your body feel like an abandoned house – unwanted things creep in without our noticing and protection. This imagery was really powerful for me. I want my house to feel like a home. I want the place that I rest, the body that shelters me, to feel appreciated and nurtured in turn. I want to take better care of it, so that it can take better care of me.
GRATITUDE
"Be completely present for all things wonderful; If we are going to be present for life's suffering, we will need all the nourishment and rejuvenation that comes from life's beauty." Thich Nhat Hanh
Being present allows us to hold a more complete picture of ourselves, the various contexts we belong to, and the world at large. Yes, there is pain and suffering. But there is also beauty, love, and magic. Everything happens all the time, you get to choose what you want to notice and absorb more of.
EMBODY EXQUISITE
When I start to drift mentally, get lost in the past or caught up in the future (both places where I have no control), I sometimes catch myself and recall my Presence back into my body. When I do that, I notice myself throwing my shoulders back a little more, chin up, spine straightening, and an internal resiliency strengthening. Why? I’m not sure, something about the E word just demands that. And then I start to feel more Exquisite.
PRESENCE
It’s true, when I am present – mind body spirit all in one place – I feel a sense of peace and connection. A sense of calmness and depth, like a lake. Pema Chodron talks about giving ourselves that undiluted attention so that you can look at the bottom of the lake and see all the junk, instead of churning it up with thoughts/distraction. When you look at everything with clarity and compassion, you see Everything. Then you Know.
OPENNESS
Being present is about 100% experiencing, not recording impressions/interpretations of experience. When you can do that, you have much better chances of responding instead of reacting. Triggers are less triggery, buttons are not easy to push. You become somebody who offers spaciousness. That is likely closer to your best self, and allows the other person a great platform to do the same.
LETTING GO
Also integral to the idea of being present is letting go. The moment that has just passed, no matter how wonderful or how traumatic, has gone. Let it go. Also, then you can practice ‘aparigraha’ (from Yoga philosophy) or non-grasping. The next moment offers a new possibility.
The present is a gift. You have it Now. It’s up to you to be here to receive it.
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