today i write from where i am. on a plane, with nothing coherent to write about, but infinite time to manifest the intention to write. i could not connect with it at first. i started at paper, pen in hand, for a long time. i wrote a few words restlessly, not feeling much but irritation.
then i read. i read several e-magazines i had saved on my computer a long time. for those of you who write, have you ever noticed that reading inspires writing? for those of you who dance, have you ever noticed that listening to music gets the beat flowing in your body until you move?
reading flowed and i realized i was seeing answers to the unnamed questions that make me restless.
what is my purpose in life?
what is happiness?
i feel peace, and an opening, what do i do now?
i have many passions and talents. what do i pursue?
the theme of the answers was that the heart is the center of life and living, and the heart beats love. even divinity is love, infinite love in every direction. so following my passion is to follow my heart. it is to feel my heart, to slow down to listen to my heart, to respond, to stay present and patient in a dialogue that takes places over years, over a lifetime and then some.
another theme/unspoken-question-answer - i’ve been yearning for guidance on a nutrition philosophy and action plan. given my body’s sensitivities and needs, what do i eat to nourish my life force? how do i not eat/drink what i’m not supposed to? i hate setting food limitations, after 20+ years of a diet restricted by medication and various treatments. i want to be healthy, but i want to experience and enjoy all of life’s offerings. i’ve also lost my love of cooking and it has become a chore. i want to bring it back. i want to fall in love again and mend our relationship, so it is filled with light and joy in each other’s company. i did receive messages about some next steps - take charge of your own well-being so that you control it not an external force, and try new recipes so that it is exploratory and fun. plus, access support from those who have the right skills and experiences - aka, see a desi nutritionist.
sometimes things feel very complex - like finding one’s life purpose. other things feel challenging - like being a grown woman and feeding yourself nutritious and delicious meals daily. but things are perhaps simpler than they seem - do the one thing that is right in front of you, that would make a huge difference to your quality of life. for me, that sounds like it’s in the food and nutrition realm, so perhaps i’m about to start dating cooking. i’ll try one new thing. if i like it, i’m open to more. plus, it’s always fun to cook with company so hit me up if you’d like to join the party.
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