Challenges can make you Shine

Challenges make life more interesting.

You'll eventually learn that you'll get through the really hard thing, one way or another. You may/probably have a higher stake in one outcome, so you put your weight behind one path. Or perhaps you're too afraid you'll lose/ not get what you want, that you're afraid too care by putting in the effort. What if it's a waste? There is no such thing as time wasted. Or energy. These are infinite and cyclical things that repeat and revolve continuously. There is a flow, but it is always new and old, and it always transforms. Life is in the motion of it.

Not knowing. You could relish this excitement, flutter your gut with anticipation, you could tell everyone, that you care too much so much.

You could also approach this not knowing with apprehension. That's perfectly natural, fear of the unknown makes sense and we all do it. Try not to let it grip you :) The more we surrender to it, the stronger it gets, like a snake wrapped around you that's growing stronger as you grow weaker. Try to remember that nothing is permanent. That's it. {Writing that on the wall or your body may help you remember.}

Life is fun. Yes, there are tragedies past and current traumas unfolding, but we all live joy too. Those moments of time with our loved ones, in dim and sparkly lights, or on a hot beach day, the warmth of a slumber party after the after-party, those are the moments that keep our spark alive. This feeling of LOVE and being connected to other human beings, that is the feeling of joy.

A star. Something that has been dead a long time can forward a shine to the water it has never met. 

"Sweetlife: the intersection of passion and purpose” - sweet green

today i write from where i am. on a plane, with nothing coherent to write about, but infinite time to manifest the intention to write. i could not connect with it at first. i started at paper, pen in hand, for a long time. i wrote a few words restlessly, not feeling much but irritation.

then i read. i read several e-magazines i had saved on my computer a long time. for those of you who write, have you ever noticed that reading inspires writing? for those of you who dance, have you ever noticed that listening to music gets the beat flowing in your body until you move?

reading flowed and i realized i was seeing answers to the unnamed questions that make me restless.

what is my purpose in life?

what is happiness?

i feel peace, and an opening, what do i do now?

i have many passions and talents. what do i pursue?

the theme of the answers was that the heart is the center of life and living, and the heart beats love. even divinity is love, infinite love in every direction. so following my passion is to follow my heart. it is to feel my heart, to slow down to listen to my heart, to respond, to stay present and patient in a dialogue that takes places over years, over a lifetime and then some.

another theme/unspoken-question-answer -  i’ve been yearning for guidance on a nutrition philosophy and action plan. given my body’s sensitivities and needs, what do i eat to nourish my life force? how do i not eat/drink what i’m not supposed to? i hate setting food limitations, after 20+ years of a diet restricted by medication and various treatments. i want to be healthy, but i want to experience and enjoy all of life’s offerings. i’ve also lost my love of cooking and it has become a chore. i want to bring it back. i want to fall in love again and mend our relationship, so it is filled with light and joy in each other’s company. i did receive messages about some next steps - take charge of your own well-being so that you control it not an external force, and try new recipes so that it is exploratory and fun. plus, access support from those who have the right skills and experiences - aka, see a desi nutritionist.

sometimes things feel very complex - like finding one’s life purpose. other things feel challenging - like being a grown woman and feeding yourself nutritious and delicious meals daily. but things are perhaps simpler than they seem - do the one thing that is right in front of you, that would make a huge difference to your quality of life. for me, that sounds like it’s in the food and nutrition realm, so perhaps i’m about to start dating cooking. i’ll try one new thing. if i like it, i’m open to more. plus, it’s always fun to cook with company so hit me up if you’d like to join the party.