to heal is to reclaim your essential self.
i have finally come to cherish that i am a goddess of survival. and i realize it makes me very happy to share the acquired skills and learnings/ wisdoms from my own experiences, that can perhaps shine light on your own path. given this, here's a little update on what i'm upto these days, and what insights it's providing me.
i have been in a period of slowing down, post job resignation. slowing down was scary at first. i wanted to keep going hard, set personal goals and pushing myself to "do something" with my free time. but then, as i was encouraged by people who love me to actually relax and take it easy for a change, and to focus on my own much-needed healing, i surrendered to it. i appreciated the feedback and support, and dove in, at my own slow pace that changes from day to day.
i am sleeping a lot, going to yoga community classes, getting acupuncture and massage treatments, writing and seeing friends. i usually watch an episode of some TV show in the evenings. i look forward to this kind of distraction relaxation time too.
yes, this whole package is as dreamy as it sounds. and i'm super blessed to have the means to access all this healing. but the line i'm holding for myself (and pushed by my dear brilliant healer friend) is not just to do self-care, but to actually work on healing trauma. this requires therapy, but it also requires being present to when hard feelings come up during the day. because of my free time, i can choose to do anything when hard stuff comes up. i can watch TV, or eat, or avoid in many ways. but the intention of all this space is to actually create a "healing room" emotionally, that can allow pause whenever needed and to actually lean into the discomfort, instead of dealing with it with my usual busy-ness.
to heal is to reclaim your essential self. my essence thrives on joy and being with people, and love and laughter, dancing, singing and praying, cooking and eating festively, playing, and doing exciting fun things physically. so, while i want to immediately do all these things and hence live my version of a happy life, i often don't feel like doing any of it. that's because wounds become hard places when stuck inside the body, they become scar tissue and pain, from lack of light and love and touch and attention.
so, the reason to pay attention to painful and uncomfortable feelings is to keep everything moving up and out of the body and spirit. when i allow myself to do that, when i work on the actual issues causing me pain, i'm healing from the inside out. it's the complementary act to doing things externally that bring me joy.
in conclusion, i recommend doing both - inner healing + outer activities that make you happy. both of these things can happen partly in solitude, and partly with good company.
Some tips to heal is to reclaim your essential self -
Part 1) Do an activity. . Sit down comfortably, close your eyes, breathe, put your hands on your heart or on your knees, and think back to some happy, carefree memories as a child. This can be hard to reach for, for some of us, but try. Imagine for a few minutes and float across a few different scenes or young ages, at home, in school, with family, with friends, by yourself, outdoors, indoors etc. Then, when you are ready to open your eyes, write down the words that come up from scenes you saw. Perhaps they are words like sunlight, laughter, daal and rice, my sister.... or a completely different set of words or feeling. Allow all/any words, don't censor. Then, write down a bunch of qualities that you see as your essence - I am ____ (playful, insightful, kind, quirky..... anything!)
Now that you've discovered your essence, you can put this up somewhere, and probably you'll add some things to it in the next few days.
Part 2) Similarly, you can ask some people you know who are close to you and know you well from a variety of life experiences (childhood friends, highschool, college, current friends, former teachers, mentors, coworkers, your health practitioners, yoga teachers, acupuncturist etc.). Ask them - what are the top 3-5 things that come to mind when you think of me? Make this list. Depending on how many people you ask, you may have several lists. Look for the common themes. Do these match your own description of your essence? It doesn't matter if they do or don't. Either way, these are insightful exercises into how you see yourself deeply, and how you show up in the world and are seen by others. Both perspectives are valuable.
Part 3) Choose what you want to cultivate, and identify some activities that will help you do that. Some of these may be quick and easy (like I want to play more!), or require commitment and deeper work in the longer term (like I want to be kinder, or more patient). Start anywhere, keep it small and focused, and simple to begin with.
Always remember that you are doing this to reclaim/liberate your essential self, which is a powerful act of self-love and freedom.
Lots of love and light in the new year to everyone.
i have finally come to cherish that i am a goddess of survival. and i realize it makes me very happy to share the acquired skills and learnings/ wisdoms from my own experiences, that can perhaps shine light on your own path. given this, here's a little update on what i'm upto these days, and what insights it's providing me.
i have been in a period of slowing down, post job resignation. slowing down was scary at first. i wanted to keep going hard, set personal goals and pushing myself to "do something" with my free time. but then, as i was encouraged by people who love me to actually relax and take it easy for a change, and to focus on my own much-needed healing, i surrendered to it. i appreciated the feedback and support, and dove in, at my own slow pace that changes from day to day.
i am sleeping a lot, going to yoga community classes, getting acupuncture and massage treatments, writing and seeing friends. i usually watch an episode of some TV show in the evenings. i look forward to this kind of distraction relaxation time too.
yes, this whole package is as dreamy as it sounds. and i'm super blessed to have the means to access all this healing. but the line i'm holding for myself (and pushed by my dear brilliant healer friend) is not just to do self-care, but to actually work on healing trauma. this requires therapy, but it also requires being present to when hard feelings come up during the day. because of my free time, i can choose to do anything when hard stuff comes up. i can watch TV, or eat, or avoid in many ways. but the intention of all this space is to actually create a "healing room" emotionally, that can allow pause whenever needed and to actually lean into the discomfort, instead of dealing with it with my usual busy-ness.
to heal is to reclaim your essential self. my essence thrives on joy and being with people, and love and laughter, dancing, singing and praying, cooking and eating festively, playing, and doing exciting fun things physically. so, while i want to immediately do all these things and hence live my version of a happy life, i often don't feel like doing any of it. that's because wounds become hard places when stuck inside the body, they become scar tissue and pain, from lack of light and love and touch and attention.
so, the reason to pay attention to painful and uncomfortable feelings is to keep everything moving up and out of the body and spirit. when i allow myself to do that, when i work on the actual issues causing me pain, i'm healing from the inside out. it's the complementary act to doing things externally that bring me joy.
in conclusion, i recommend doing both - inner healing + outer activities that make you happy. both of these things can happen partly in solitude, and partly with good company.
Some tips to heal is to reclaim your essential self -
Part 1) Do an activity. . Sit down comfortably, close your eyes, breathe, put your hands on your heart or on your knees, and think back to some happy, carefree memories as a child. This can be hard to reach for, for some of us, but try. Imagine for a few minutes and float across a few different scenes or young ages, at home, in school, with family, with friends, by yourself, outdoors, indoors etc. Then, when you are ready to open your eyes, write down the words that come up from scenes you saw. Perhaps they are words like sunlight, laughter, daal and rice, my sister.... or a completely different set of words or feeling. Allow all/any words, don't censor. Then, write down a bunch of qualities that you see as your essence - I am ____ (playful, insightful, kind, quirky..... anything!)
Now that you've discovered your essence, you can put this up somewhere, and probably you'll add some things to it in the next few days.
Part 2) Similarly, you can ask some people you know who are close to you and know you well from a variety of life experiences (childhood friends, highschool, college, current friends, former teachers, mentors, coworkers, your health practitioners, yoga teachers, acupuncturist etc.). Ask them - what are the top 3-5 things that come to mind when you think of me? Make this list. Depending on how many people you ask, you may have several lists. Look for the common themes. Do these match your own description of your essence? It doesn't matter if they do or don't. Either way, these are insightful exercises into how you see yourself deeply, and how you show up in the world and are seen by others. Both perspectives are valuable.
Part 3) Choose what you want to cultivate, and identify some activities that will help you do that. Some of these may be quick and easy (like I want to play more!), or require commitment and deeper work in the longer term (like I want to be kinder, or more patient). Start anywhere, keep it small and focused, and simple to begin with.
Always remember that you are doing this to reclaim/liberate your essential self, which is a powerful act of self-love and freedom.
Lots of love and light in the new year to everyone.
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