I have been wondering what would make me happy.
There are 5 things I can think of, actually, that would help get me to the other side in the short term -
1) Being in sunshine, warm weather and the magnificent, magical vastness of the ocean
2) Getting done with this never-beginning, never-ending housing move - the hunting is done, the lease is signed, packing is yet to begin.
3) Settling into a new home with space, sunlight, and people I like and care about in close proximity. Creating a space where I can write, smile, breathe, pray, dance, make art, heal, and cook with others.
4) My professional work continuing to go as bloomingly as it has been, thanks to many other people.
5) Making art - Although mentioned as a tidbit in #3, I am coming to realize the power and potential of this one in releasing my sadness and stuck emotions, and in healing and creating beauty and joy.
Obviously, some of these things are in my control, some are not. Some are inevitable even if I do nothing, some require intense labor in a short amount of time.Some of these things are about the absence of what's been hard, and some are about the presence and creation of what brings joy. Both require intention and effort. I'm willing to do those things, but I'd rather do them with an attitude of "I am fierce and badass in the midst of so much tough shit going on", rather than a more disempowered approach like "I overwhelmed and have so much to do I wish it was over". I've gone back and forth between these feelings, and I'm trying to remember more often that I am badass and can handle and accomplish a lot.
Note to self: Attitude matters. It matters a LOT. Not just because it can give one actual fuel (which is significant), but because then the doing is as strengthening and positive as being on the other side (the outcome).
I can think of tons more things that would make me happier, but I will leave them alone for now because I am too disheartened by the magnitude of those, and the limited potential for change. Right now I'm trying to focus on the next 1 week to 3 months, which is another good strategy for keeping things manageable.
Good luck to you, if you are doing a lot and trying to stay afloat and perhaps even swim. My heart is bonded with yours in the yearnings of my prayers.
There are 5 things I can think of, actually, that would help get me to the other side in the short term -
1) Being in sunshine, warm weather and the magnificent, magical vastness of the ocean
2) Getting done with this never-beginning, never-ending housing move - the hunting is done, the lease is signed, packing is yet to begin.
3) Settling into a new home with space, sunlight, and people I like and care about in close proximity. Creating a space where I can write, smile, breathe, pray, dance, make art, heal, and cook with others.
4) My professional work continuing to go as bloomingly as it has been, thanks to many other people.
5) Making art - Although mentioned as a tidbit in #3, I am coming to realize the power and potential of this one in releasing my sadness and stuck emotions, and in healing and creating beauty and joy.
Obviously, some of these things are in my control, some are not. Some are inevitable even if I do nothing, some require intense labor in a short amount of time.Some of these things are about the absence of what's been hard, and some are about the presence and creation of what brings joy. Both require intention and effort. I'm willing to do those things, but I'd rather do them with an attitude of "I am fierce and badass in the midst of so much tough shit going on", rather than a more disempowered approach like "I overwhelmed and have so much to do I wish it was over". I've gone back and forth between these feelings, and I'm trying to remember more often that I am badass and can handle and accomplish a lot.
Note to self: Attitude matters. It matters a LOT. Not just because it can give one actual fuel (which is significant), but because then the doing is as strengthening and positive as being on the other side (the outcome).
I can think of tons more things that would make me happier, but I will leave them alone for now because I am too disheartened by the magnitude of those, and the limited potential for change. Right now I'm trying to focus on the next 1 week to 3 months, which is another good strategy for keeping things manageable.
Good luck to you, if you are doing a lot and trying to stay afloat and perhaps even swim. My heart is bonded with yours in the yearnings of my prayers.
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