Saturday, September 5, 2015

Solitude, Sadness, and Self-Love

At some point of time, all human beings feel a deep sense of aloneness. Such a universal experience, and yet, it's experienced in painful isolation, at least internally even if we are surrounded by people who really love us.

I believe that's the point that we need to turn inwards, and be okay with what's there. The fear is many a time greater than the actual experience. Facing inwards, being okay with a vast expansive space. Perhaps similar to floating off into the outer space in an unknown galaxy, no gravity. Where are we, if not anchored by a pulling weight that keeps our feet on the ground? Who are we, if not in relationship to other human beings? What are we? Why do we exist? What is the purpose of our lives? These are big scary questions. And we often stay outwards in the daily hustle to avoid questions that can seem unanswerable.

A few years ago when I had just moved to New York, I was looking for a great book recommendation and a friend gave it to me - Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke. There are 10 letters in that book that Rilke wrote to a young mentee he had never met. I think everyone who reads that book feels like Rilke has traveled across time and space to join us in this realm, and that he wrote that letter to that particular reader. I too felt deeply spoken to, deeply moved by his words. He spoke to me of solitude, of the vast expanse we have inside of us. To paraphrase, he said that most of us spend our whole lives in just one room of the house, whereas there is so much more to discover. He spoke of sadness too, with such respect for how it is to be treated and how it changes us in meaningful ways. Sadness, like solitude, is a universal experience and also like solitude, many of us spend our time in hyperactivity to avoid those feelings.

Through this book, I came to make peace with my sadnesses, and came to love the spaciousness of solitude, that can allow one to feel as expansive as time itself.

Nowadays, I lose myself in hyperactivity fairly regularly, but then something reminds me of this question - what or who am I trying to avoid, when I could be with all of myself all of the time?

I invite you into yourself. Sometimes that can look like meditating, or it can look like taking a walk, or dancing. Meditation changes too, it is a medium to access something eternal and still, and anything we lose ourselves in can create that pathway. Do not be attached to one path, but take the step now that moves your whole being forward. You can enter yourself from many realms - the physical, the emotional, the spiritual all are connected. You can touch your body in a new way and discover that you have changed. Your own hands may be touching differently, infused with awareness of self. You may look in the mirror everyday and not really see yourself deeply. You could do that now.

Whatever you do, invite love into it. Love is attention, time, presence, unconditionality, no judgements. Bring love into yourself, from yourself, to yourself. When we are filled with love, it is what we offer out too. And within us, it can help us hold all our experiences with compassion. 

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