From Longing to Luminous

Belonging

What does it mean to belong to a place?
How does it feel to belong?
What is belonging made up of?

All I know is how it feels to long for a sense of belonging.
 I have known longing

There is love and there is beauty.
With love and beauty and trust come joy.

Truth is an illusion.
Truth is true, but it also a multiple illusion trick.
if you get what I mean

Life is sweeter with love. Love is sweeter with joy. Joy is sweeter in togetherness, in hands that hold tight and squeeze back, but also with hands that can hold their own heart. i can hold my own heart. i have held it in my hands many times, with apology and forgiveness. with a mother's love. i have mothered myself too often and not enough.

i have not told enough to my mother for too long.
but now i am starting.
starting is enough for now.

sometimes, the only thing you can feel is your nipples get cold and push through the fabric, and your toes are frozen. it is enough to feel, in that moment, in this moment, in any moment. if you asked me, take it one feeling at a time every day. every hour?

the moon and the sky
neela asmaan
zameen
asmaan
zameen asmaan

my mom once shared this deep quote with me. i remember we were in a car full of family in the night and there were stars i could see clearly and then took for granted. i was squished in the backseat with her and other women and girls.

"sab ko sab kuchh nahin milta
kisi ko zameen to kisi ko asmaan nahin milta." - source unknown, but it's from my people.

every body does not get everything
someone does not get the ground, someone does not get the sky

so there it is.
the so-called truth :)
because truth lives in age-old wisdoms that are full of beauty and inter-generational repetitions of the human experience.

in this galaxy of stars and souls and searching, we can hardly see our selves
it is dark everywhere, and the lights are other stars far from us
but the trick is
to know your own luminosity all the time